Coffee Review – Death Wish Coffee

When a coffee company says they sell the world strongest coffee, any coffee addict will tell you it’s on their must try list. I’m not going to lie I had a total “challenge accepted” moment.

We’ve purchased Death Wish, Valhalla Java Odinforce Blend, and the Cauldron-Aged Pumpkin Blend. Each version being a completely different experience than the last. If you’ve ever been to their website or seen their advertising, the following review will fall in line with it. And Death Wish, if you are reading this, free swag is always welcome at our office. 😉

** This is a good ‘ol honest review from coffee aficionados. We were in no way compensated or affiliated with Death Wish**

Death Wish Review:

5/5

When you hear death wish you might think it’s a bad thing, but for this coffee it’s properly named. After the first sip you’ll die and be reborn. No other coffee compares to the rich flavor and the revitalizing energy levels Death Wish provides.

Warning: novice coffee drinkers have complained of jitters, but for us mortals that require a full pot before dealing with the public, Death Wish is the coffee for you.

My first day on Death Wish changed my life. No longer did the idiots surrounding me cause my thoughts to drift to homicide, because I’d found my zen, and it was in a glass of Death Wish. Don’t waste another day drinking inferior coffee, buy Death Wish today and be reborn a better person. It will saves lives.

Disclaimer: Death Wish coffee has not been linked to spiritual rebirth. Placing your faith in coffee is a dangerous path, proceed at your own peril.

Valhalla Review:

1/5

After switching to Death Wish as my main coffee of choice, I thought Valhalla would be a new spiritual experience. Another rebirth to find my inner viking!

I awoke not in Valhalla, a place of eternal joy, but in Jersey Shore where any sane person prays for a .22 caliber Advil to end the suffering.

The only justifiable reason to brand this coffee Valhalla is because you’d need to be shit faced, and possible dead to enjoy it.

Save yourself the money, and just buy another bag of Death Wish. You can even send me a bag if you wish.

Cauldron-Aged Pumpkin Review:

5/5

This is absolutely the best out of the 3 of flavors. Each time we get it I tend to savor it by only drinking it on Sundays so it will last as long as possible.

The pumpkin aroma is not only mouth watering when you open the bag, but in each sip after you’ve brewed. It’s a magical full body pumpkin blend, not like the fake crap you get from ritzy coffee shops. 

For those that love pumpkin everything this is a must by treat each year. 

You may also like

2 Comments

  1. Hey all! Sierra here from Death Wish! Thanks for taking the time to give both blends a brew! It’s always killer to hear when the brew sees someone through to ultimate coffee-zen.

    I’m sorry to hear that the Valhalla Java didn’t offer up the same experience. This one is a medium-dark roast with more mellow, nutty notes of flavor. The recommended ratio for this blend is the same SCAA ratio of the Death Wish: 2.5 tbsp. for every 6 fl. oz. of water. Shoot me an email at sierra@deathwishcoffee.com, and we’ll see what can be done about making it right for you!

Leave a Reply